Uneasy Choice

People say it is hard to choose between two conditions but it is even harder if these two choices are good. Right now, I am facing a condition where I have already decided my choice but still wavering to another one. Yeah. I know it is bad. I am such an unfaithful person, but is it wrong to feel greedy at this time? Have you ever in this situation? To tell you more about this: One is pursuing my PhD degree. Another is to keep working my job now.

Taking a PhD is not an easy job. And it becomes my main reason. It requires hard working, much effort, time, money, and anything of my life *exaggerating* I have read on many articles about PhD life. It is such a nightmare. Not all people can endure the difficulties but not a few people also can pass the hardness. On the other hand, keeping my job right now is a way to increase professionalism. One of big companies in Korea is interested in one of my company works which is one-year project I did last year. It will be big!, my manager told me. Our work finally will result in huge money. However, a wavering thing is not only about money, but also about expertise. Who is the most “ahli” in this project theme? Me. It is ME. If I continue my work, I will be more expert in this field. My expertise will be improved. And how if leave this company? There will be nobody understand it as good as me.

After thinking it many times, I decide taking my PhD. It is already too late taking it back. Registering to university, issuing student ID number,  preparing for orientation, purchasing round-trip ticket for visiting home country before study, and so on, there are just too much things I need to cancel if I keep my job now. Or, it is not too late to put all the things to the right place like just keep my job, postpone my trip to next semester, finding another scholarship next year? One thing to be sure is any choice resulting consequences. Whatever I choose, I can’t take it back, I can’t undo it. Whatever I choose, go straight with it without looking back.


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